Hisotrically men have been accused and convicted of most crimes that existed in the dictionary.They are perpetual objects of suspicion prima facie and in the event it is proven otherwise, it is thought to be due to unfair means especially if it is against women.I know some of my feminist friends might say “serves em right” – and I like I agreed before, perhaps they are right to some extent.However, this article aims to highlight the unobvious, the stereotype, the pattern interrupt if you will.
It is also a fact there are more women suffering than men over the years. They have been subjected to abuse,injustice,delayed justice,and in most cases no justice. There are also instances of how women suffer in silence because of social stigma or backlash and these cases will or might never come to light.
So what’s the point ? The above examples are the obvious cases but what about the not so obvious ones ? What about those cases where it goes against the way of the world? Goes against how society thinks in general? What happens to those men and women ? to give you some examples : think of cases where the husband is unable to prove cruelty by his wife, or those where the man is wrongfully accused of dowry or sexual harrasment and has almost next to zero chances of proving his innocense.Yes, admitted they are few and far, but in country of a billion plus people even a small percent could be a huge number.
Take this example I came across recently.The man and woman meet on the net,chat up and eventually get married. Both the man and woman hail from decent well to do families with no past history of any anomalies or a run in with the law.They get married and have a child and seem to be living happily. However things change. The woman starts to act rudely with the inlaws, even abuses her husband with expletives in front of other people – and no she is not insane ,or post partum syndrome, or mood swings – its how she always was – but chose to hide it under wraps all the while. She then becomes suspicious of every single activity the husband does or says and keeps abusing him verbally. Then she goes on to compare him with his peers and pressurises him to earn more money and so on and so forth.
There was no single trigger point for such behaviour. The husband is well settled runs a small family business and earns enough to take his family out for vacation twice a year.So there was no financial crunch.There was no emotional abuse since they had a happy kid – and more importantly the mans parents never complained. In face they were surprised that their son find his wife incompatible.!The man is not having an extra marital affair or any other anomaly. He is just a regular guy.
In time, the man gets increasingly frustrated by the womans behaviour and the erstwhile compatibility turns into gross incompaitibility.He seeks for a divorce. Interestingly the wife does not grant it. She stays put in the house and the man has to move out. The old parents are confused and do not want a society stigma with this raging drama at home so they keep mum.
The man moves out and goes to another town with another job – while the woman celebrates her birthday in style at home and seems to have a perfectly comfortable life with these developments. The lawyer advises the man that he has no choice but to go back and deal with this situation beacuse this incompatibility can never be proven in a court of law.As a result, a perfectly normal, happy and smart man is now a mental wreck,has lost his will to live and has become a recluse in his own house with no way out.
The whole world is talking about womens empowerment and protection and well being and in the process ignoring how this can become counter productive if not handled carefully. Men and women both need to be treated equally with the same measure of sensitivity,benefit of doubt and neutrality – otherwise we run the risk of an imbalanced society.