How many times have great relationships turned sour? Every friendship begins with appreciation of similar interests , likes, dislikes.Even when people say that some friendships blossom because they’re opposites, it s really because the dormant feature is similar in one,that makes the opposite attractive.So similarity is key – at some plane at some level of the mind body or soul that sparks a common bonding with the other.As the relationship progresses freshness of finding something or someone familiar turns into a comfort zone, something that one gets used to quickly.The flow or surge of good vibes is such that you want to explore more, further, perhaps deeper.
Once you do – you suddenly start to find the tiny specks of inconsistency, disagreement and unfamiliarity – deep rooted in familiarity. That’s when the trouble starts.Multiple attacks from the hitherto quiet ego surfaces with a vengeance,arrogance steps in once in a while and a politicking mind takes over. That therefore is a certain recipe for disaster.Then begins the downfall, unbinding of all good memories in to brackets of solitude and nostalgia.Then one fine day, one of the two strikes a terminal blow to the last band of familiarity – and strings are broken forever.
Years later, when the dust of ego,ambition,arrogance or carelessness settles down,we go down the memory lane and with an aching heart think what would’ve been better? A friendship lost in time remains lost forever,rarely or never do those two people get to rekindle the same magic again.
So whats the point?
Value, space,and tolerance are the key ingredients towards cultivating a true friendship.
Its difficult to realize the importance of having a good friend right at the beginning, but if you have learned your lesson the hard way, you will value it – not take it for granted.Maybe balance spontaneity with care.so that you don’t override someone’s thoughts, opinions or values.
Space is critical – don’t be over each other all the time. Take time off from being friends.! I mean don’t overlook your other close acquaintances – sometimes, even if you don’t like it much, spend time with them and look for some familiarity to cultivate a new friend.You will realize, that as you grow old – you rarely make good friends – there are acquaintances, and good acquaintances – but good close friends – quite rare.Only events/accidents/incidents are usually known to trigger great friendships at a later age. So if you have one at an early age – nurture it over time by giving space.
Tolerance – Here’s a fact – The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility prevails in all forms of life. For the uninitiated, the law simply means , that the more you have something the lesser you are going to want it over time.You might pay $100 for a bottle of water if your dying of thirst, but the second bottle ? You might bargain for $50 and subsequently you might not want to pay at all – since water has no utility to you.Likewise in relationships, there will come a time of monotony,and familiarity no matter how much you regulate it.So in times like these,its good be more tolerable even if it means that you disagree to the others point or opinion.Its ok for your you to be proven wrong (even if you you are right) – learn to let go and move on. Having said that,be careful you are not overdoing this – because this can also get counterproductive to your relationship.Besides tolerance is for both partners.
In conclusion,I’d say a good friend is a blessing, a fortune and a treasure, so while cherishing it is the most obvious thing to do, nurturing it will ensure its longevity.