A plethora of jokes erupted when Chris Gayle ,a prominent cricketer,playing the IPL, went berserk and hit a world record. They said, he’s raping the opponents with his batting.The other day I over heard someone at a coffee outlet saying ‘Yaar I got raped at work today, the presentation went bad man.’ Yet another example was someone who replaced Fuck you with rape you.
So much for sensitivity and dignity. So much for freedom of speech and expression!
Headlines screamed the rape of a 5 year old. Headlines screamed the rape of a medical student.Headlines screamed and then went on to cover the next soap opera or cricket game. People lit candles, walked the mile, raised slogans and then went back to their shopping malls and offices.Guess what ? Headlines have been screaming since eons. What are we waiting for ? Who are we waiting for?
Or is it, that we will only scream shout and light candles and discuss over small talk how the country is degraded itself? News coverage on television,raging rhetorical,heated debates,even poems and of course blog posts like these will flood the cyberspace.Facebook updates will briefly change,some video updates and then what?Slowly and surely the impact will fade away, and in some cases sadly, some will find humor in it.
Life is about moving,even after we die. And in between, we have to work and earn money, pay the bills and buy the house, or the car, or certainly take the vacation to a foreign country, get admitted to the best schools and buy fancy shoes.Visit expensive restaurants and whistle at the movies, go for a long drive,just simply to have some cheese.Relax in the lazyboy and jump on the tennis court, play the perfect host or be the invited ghost. Where is the fucking time to think about who is getting raped ?Let alone do something about it?
Until one day.
Until one day when shit hits the fan.Your wife gets the stare or the sister gets the glare.The child gets touched and the teenager is groped.Your life turns upside down.You challenge the system, make noise and curse the society.You become the missionary man,the fatalistic family and your whole life changes in front of your eyes.You begin to think where will you start to pick the pieces? How will you rebuild the faith in every touch that now stands misunderstood and violated?
Then you have people who focus on social stigma and console you instead of helping you to move on. Sympathising with the victim proves as a bane to her mental development.Long after the incident is gone,she will still relive the moment because of these so called concerned people. There will be anniversary reminders and programs revisitng the issue. How will it help the victim to move on?How is she going to trust another man ? Another touch? Another crowded bus or a late night show?
Making lives normal is perhaps the first step towards healing.and perhaps the most difficult.Acceptance and fighting for justice without any social drama is perhaps the second.Punishing the guilty the third.Removing the root cause or at least identifying the root cause from the perpetrator is perhaps the fourth.They were not born criminals. They were innocent as children just like your children.Then what went wrong? What was the trigger? What was the root cause for this heinous act? Cant it be rectified ? Can it be changed ? Can it be punished by a death sentence? Can it be a castration ? Or does counselling ,rehabilitating stand a chance?
So what can you do ?
- Help if you see a vicitm.Dont run away.
- If you know a silent sufferer, encourage her to report.
- If you are an offender. Know that change begins within.Seek help.
- If you aware of such people in the neighborhood or friend circle,alert authorities.Check your facts.
- Dont promote social stigma or personal vendetta.It will come back to haunt you.
And will this solve all the problems? Perhaps not.But maybe thats where one can begin.There are thousands of things one can do,the toughest one is doing the first one.
Tomorrow is yet another manic Monday. And we will all go back to our lives…just the same, or make a difference, will you Ring the Bell ?
Only you know the answer…