Tangy Tuesday PickThe Plastic smile is by far the best corporate shield.Bosses do it,peers do it, juniors do it, people who can’t stand the sight of you do lets try to classify what are the most typical types we come across everyday.

Lets try to classify –

  • The Lip Press Smile™ – These people are generally found higher up in the ranks.They have a know-it-all look.They are by and large cynical,and like to think of it as the power of accurate observation.!They suspect everybody of an ulterior motive.somebody is upto something all the time.that’s what keeps them preoccupied.they spend a lot of time profiling people,anticipating what they might or might not do.Some do it subconsciously and some actively.they are master tacticians, in fact if there was ever a degree in the corporate world it would have to be named as MCP -Masters in Corporate Politics.It comes naturally to them.Diplomacy is their second skin. They are usually abundant with a nasty vocabulary and opportunistic mindset. So if one the LPS type of people were to read this post – they’d promptly say – “one cannot generalize you see, one would have to look at the writers credibility and ask pertinent questions ,and then we can have a composite dialogue to understand each others predicament.”
  • The Broad’s Grin™ – This is not intended to be a sexist post.But we will talk about women who have a killer smile.There are sub-categories to this.
    • Come-hither smile – Most middle management “wannashine” managers are typically seen to wear this smile. they are basically more packaging than content.They are smart enough to realize that content is not adequate and if they cannot rise vertically, then horizontal rise is not bad either.Smile is their best bet,and if they have a good set of teeth even better.
    • Lop-sided mile – this smile says something like- I am impressed by anything and anyone,I particularly don’t have a great set of teeth but I want you to notice me and remember me with my lop sided smile.I usually wear mascara to make me look as glamorous as possible.I am one of those who will play agony aunt to some and silently suck-up the bosses above.
    • I-know-smile – ususally found in senior management.Sometimes it can even escalate into a loud guffaw.They’re the definition of I am in control.Usually talk with high eyebrows and nose and chin up, and if they re tall, they wear more heels to tower over poor directs.most of them are in awe of them, and they keep quiet when she speaks.Sense of dressing perfect,and has a been there-done that look on her face at all times.a good fit with the LPS bracket.
  • The Smirk Turk™ –  He’s recently happened,if you know what I mean.Just got lucky and landed in a position which no one ever expected him to be in, maybe even himself. He does not know where to go, but is smartens up as more and more people bow before him,when the erstwhile high and mighty “have to” consult him or include him in the inner circle.He wears the smirk.His typical vocabulary would have ” Lets do it” with all gusto,and has varying degrees at different levels of management. Sarcasm is an art for them and they can play sugar daddy with equal ease.
  • The WryAwry Smile™ – They are created because the Smirk Turk got lucky.He is the lost soul.Now looking for a job perhaps,resigned to his fate, of opportunities lost and what he could have done.he will either quit in  a few days or move into a another department.Then bitch the hell out.Everything is bad for him, people,process and technology.nobody seems to get-it.Usually teams up with Lopsided smiles, and pour his heart out. Juniors that thought him to be the next big thing now smoke in front of him and even call him dude.His common everyday vocabulary would have a repetition of ” If only I had…” or “how could that Smirk Turk Jerk get that position? -whatever happened to the progressive thinking management ?”A close second would be “It Sucks”.

So where does the genuine smile fit in ? If you find out please let me know.

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