The WhatsApp Constitution.


100 Messages and nothing to talk.

Message 1.

Good Morning <insert emoji > !! <insert another emoji> !!  multiply by 20 more in the group. They find it a moral obligation to do so, some call it manners.

Message Count Count  =20

Message2.

Joke 1: Two Antennas married, but it was such a bad reception! <insert Guffaws>  multiply by 10. Followed by top-up jokes from the same lines,  add another 20.Spreading happiness in the mornings is such a noble deed.

Message Count = 30.

Message 3.

Funny Meme or image. <insert #justsharing> multiply by 20. Followed up with accolades and claps and a high-five emoji which some refer to as “Namaste”.  Multiply by another 10. Sharing is caring.

Message Count = 30

Message 4.

Funny video.  Download and forward to another group. Silly comment added for extra personal touch. <insert smiley>  Multiply by 20. Visual sharing is more caring.

Message Count = 20

Total message count = 100, total conversation =0.

And if you are still reading, beware,this might disturb the fine balance of ignorance you have maintained inside your RAM. So proceed with caution.

I’m tired of silly forwards, good-morning messages , sexist point of views and moral policing thoughts, pointless politeness and juvenile jokes on Whatsapp groups.

There I said it. Am I weird?

Could be.

Troll View:  Well, would you rather have impolite conversations, rude forwards and abuses hurled every morning? No, right? So suck it up. And if you don’t want to read there is always a power button on every phone. it’s there for a reason. Find it.

Other View : Why is everything ever have to be the extreme opposite? Why is there no sense of balance? What is wrong in expecting an intelligent conversation?

Troll View:  Boss, if you need so much intellectual masturbation , please go join another group or better still create one for yourself, and you can enjoy yourself. No pun.

Other View : But that is a sexist comment? And it is hypocritical. You just said, you like light-heated sweet silly nothings in the mornings, yet if anyone questions, you expose fangs.

Troll View : Boss we don’t talk about Sex in public. It’s a private thing. So  don’t bring up dirty things in public ok?

Other View: And why do you think Sex is dirty? Who taught you that?

Troll View : Mind your language, we are typical Indians, and there is nothing wrong with being conservative.

Other View : Can you define who is a typical Indian? Give me a close reference point here. Take movie stars or famous personalities for examples. So is Amitabh Bachchan a typical Indian? Or is it more of Kangana Ranaut? Is Kamal Hasan a typical Indian or Aaliya Bhat? Is Sadhguru or is it Sri Sri ? Is it Hardik Patel or Hardik Pandya ?  Is it Mamata Banerjee or   Sushma Swaraj ?  Is Karni Sena a true representation of Rajasthan ? Or is Shiv Sena a representation of Maharashtra? Is Kunal Kamra a true Indian or is it Zakir Khan? Is NDTV a true representation or is it Republic TV ?  Is the Tinder swipe a true Indian culture or is it the Shaadi.com arrangement? Is groping man in the metro a true representation or the corporate head honcho charged with assault a true Indian? Is God fearing bhakt a true Indian or the liberal critiques a true representation? Is the upper class housewife mouthing expletives a true representation or is the maid getting beaten by her drunk husband a true representation? Are rich kids rampaging on roadsides or poor kids playing football in the mud a true representation? Is the rich “seth” spitting paan opening the car door at a traffic light, a true picture ? Or is the beggar eating from the garbage a true picture? The politicians who think rape is just silly mistake men do or the communal hatred that leaders induce for attention is the true representation of the country?  The sanskari middle class  parents who believe academic ability is greater than intellect and ability  or the parents who have no time for their kids?  Who is India?

Who decides which aspect represents “true India” ?

The law of the land. The Constitution. Rest of the judgements,moral opinions, prejudices and sanskars are your own point of view, and while you are accorded the right to freedom of speech, it has no clause which suggests one person  represents the whole group.

  • There is no Right to Moral Policing.
  • There is no Right to Bullshit on behalf of others.
  • There is no Right to Sexist jokes.
  • There is no Right to force feed Sanskars
  • There is no right to Troll without evidence , much less take the moral high ground.

Breathes,clock ticks, sweat drops , thumb aches.

Troll View : Too much dude.  < insert emoji>  woot. This is crazy shit.  <clicks forward> others chime in. We always knew he was different. Pata nahi kya bol raha hai, ha ha. Multiply by 5.

Uff yaar this movie Lust Stories is so boring, I don’t know what stops people from making good old Dilwale types. Classic stuff. Such bekar ke topics they do na?<insert emoji> Anurag Bose ko aur koi kaam nahi hai.

Rest keep quiet.

Message 5:  

Joke 2 :  Why does Dolly make up ?  Because : Dolly saja ke rakhna, mehendi laga ke rakhna. <insert smiley> <insert yet another smiley> !!@@##$$%Multiply by 30 , 20 forwards. Free is fun.

One hour later :

Message  6 :  from another contact in another part of the world.

Joke 2 : Why does Dolly make up ?……

****slams phones**** bangs head.

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